“The secret life of Hitler – Spanish edition”, “Nazi’s in Mexico”, etc. Oh well.

My music’s gone – that’s hard, but it just comes back down to the essential, elemental nature of being. I sit out here in the morning sun with a proper strong brew of Earl Grey and watch the orioles flit about in the aloe flowers and gaze out over the palms and the mountains and all is well.

Of course I had visions of setting up a trap, catching the retard, decommissioning him with a stout stick, or tasering and duct taping him and giving him a lecture, but the varied vengeful angry and violent impulses do not feel good in the body. I let them come, and let them go with a sigh of release, and divert my thoughts to how I can best secure my position, preferably with grace, though high voltage electricity would be more interesting.

Nevertheless, during an ayahuasca ceremony in the Amazon jungle a number of years ago, I met my demons as threatening, knife flicking bandits in the shadows, and under the dissociative influence of the medicine, saw these as not separate in energetic / cosmic / life force terms, and that in order to transmute fear into love, thus increasing that cosmic force in the universe, I needed to embrace that demon into myself. Go figure.

Additionally, as I continue to contemplate the erstwhile shelved book I have been writing, how much these experiences inform and come to pass and are indeed  life’s experiences conjured outside of time.